I havent posted since the funeral because I felt like it symbolized the way my heart is stuck on March 12. I often relive the events of that day. I sometimes wish I could say that life won't go on. But it does. And with it the joy and beauty that is my family. Hannah is still cuddly and sweet and Alexandra is still adorable and exuberant. No matter what I do the sun rises and my girls and my wonderful husband love me and I love them. I miss Samantha more than the depths of the ocean. My heart aches and yearns for her every day. But I also know that I only get to live life once. Samantha wouldnt want me to stop living to prove how much I love her. She doesnt need that.
I think I am ready to start sharing my life again. I may start a separate blog for Samantha. For now I just want to share our life again.
7 comments:
Glad you were able to have the strength to start blogging again. It took me a LONG time to even look at my blog after we lost our daughter. I wish you continued strength in the days ahead. Lots of hugs to you!
It's so hard to find that balance between celebrating and grieving- moving forward yet looking back- I wish you well on this journey (that I to am on!) I think it's great that you're sharing your story again. I did the same thing... started a family blog and then started a separate blog for my angels. You are so right though- Samantha no doubt- loves you and knows how much you love her! Continue to embrace the life lessons she's taught you and know that she will continue to send them to you over a lifetime. Tonight I will look to the heavens and remember your sweet girl! Wishing you peace!
Hugs-
Laura
www.momentsofpause.blogspot.com
&
www.dorandays1.blogspot.com
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's still so fresh and so raw...When I'm feeling stuck, I always try to keep in mind that Brandon would want me to be happy, for myself and my family. And yet, it's still hard to do no matter how hard I try...Wishing you strength and peace...xxx...
Sherry
You're doing great! This is such a unique and tender journey for you and your whole family. I hope you find blogging to be therapeutic as you continue on this path. Your family is beautiful. I was missing my Dex a lot tonight and spent the last several hours rereading some posts that I have made about him over the last year and a half. I'm so glad I have them for just these kinds of moments when I miss him too much! Hugs to you tonight.
If you would ever like to email, I can be reached at scrappymeggie at gmail. This griefy, twin-loss thing is so stinky...
Jax I think you are amazing and I had such a wonderful time holding Hannah the other weekend. She is just a beautiful bundle of joy and an amazing gift from God. I hope you find blogging to help you through this tough time pleas do not hesitate to call me, Abs or my mom whenever you need ANYTHING.
Praying and thinking of you constantly. Much Love.
My beautiful Jaxlyn, I love you and David so much. You are an amazing woman and I am so honored to know you both. You know I'm just a phone call away whenever you need a friend. Love and prayers.
Jaclyn,
You are so wise beyond your years. I am so sorry that you have had to take this journey, but am glad you are ready to share your life again. Samantha will always be in your heart and you are right that she wants you to continue being the fantastic mother that you are to Hannah and Alexandra. You and David are amazing-- please don't hesitate to call if you want to hang out or need anything. Can't wait to see what comes out of the Johnson blog in the future. Let's hang out soon!
Continuing to think and pray for you guys,
Abby, Chad, and Will
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