Sunday, August 22, 2010

My new normal

I saw these sleepers and it really expressed how I feel all day every day.  This empty sleeper and the hole in my heart.  I see the space where Samantha should be.  I sold the stroller, returned her clothes, returned the second car seat and I'm working on getting rid of the crib.  But that hole is still there aching like crazy.  I started crying when I saw Haloween costumes.  I'm not sure I can handle the holidays this year.   I feel like our Christmas card should be something like this picture.  Sweet baby Hannah and an emtpy space where my sweet baby Samantha should be.   I still can't believe I have to live the rest of my life without her. I can hardly bear the pain.  My girls help me with the joy they inspire.  I just have to adjust to my new normal.